Unpopular Girl

Thats pretty much what I feel like at work. There are 3 other women who I work with directly in my department. Everyone else at my job likes me, we get along just fine. But within my dept, I am hated for some reason. i’d love to say they’re just jealous because I am so productive, and it is true,  I am the most productive recruiter at my job. For some reason I came in and had a lot of luck and have been able to get the sites filled, which is my primary directive. But I have been attacked for my methods, and even though its supposedly all nicey nice on the surface, today two recruiters were huddled in an office together for at least 45 minutes, talking about who knows what, certainly not doing any work. And I’m sitting in my office feeling purposefully excluded from their little plans. Whatever, I just think it sucks that this company’s future is in the hands of A. a useless burned out middle aged dumbfuck who has been at this job for 13 years and doesn’t know how to write down an email address correctly, and B, a whiny skinny complainer who took an aggressive position with me almost from day 1, and does not understand what this job is about. Recruiter C is great at her job, nice, sweet, etc but is very good friends with B from past jobs, and just had a baby so she’s been out of the office. Every day I feel like the unpopular girl again. I go to work feeling sick and scared and come home feeling bored and lonely. All kinds of things are discussed between them during their marathon pow wows- in some cases, actual work and events that I need to be looped in on and am not. Also they seem to have started ignoring my emails.

For all their talk of teamwork, we dont really need to work as a team. I mean we do and we dont. We have to take our docs to our sites and see them through the process. I dont need another recruiter to help me with that. But there is cross pollination when we have a doc who wants to interview at more than one site. Happens all the time. And regardless of who brought the doc in, I am always blamed for stepping on someone elses toes. B just straight out doesn’t like me for some reason, and the feeling is mutual. A is a functioning retard who is willing to waste loads of time every day. I just get bitter when I am actually producing, showing real results, and A has half the workload I do, every word that comes out of B’s mouth is a complaint, and C is at home iwth her baby.

Another reason to have a baby- time off! Think they’d miss me????  We have 23 sites. I handle 9 of them and the other 14 are split between 3 people.  We’re going to talk about it tomorrow; some may be taken off of me. Or I might get more. Or just changed around. We’ve hired 34 docs starting in the next coupld months. I recruited 22 of them

I can only stand by my numbers. If I am producing but they all hate me, could I get fired for that? I dont think so, and my boss has told me no, but its a horrible working environment. Every other place I have ever worked I was valued and loved. In fact, everyone I work with (with the exception of my team) loves me. Its so painful and ridiculous, but shit, maybe I just need to close my door all day every day, crank up the tunes and do my own thing. If they need me they know where to find me.

So the job itself I love. I adore my docs, I love the process and meeting them, I like the travel aspect, the networking, the people I meet. and I am good at it.  So I guess I’ll just wait for everyone else to quit

I am always looking for another job. Or another life. This is a major cause of this dissatisfaction right now– I dont have any creative outlet, and my days at my job which I love are shitty. If work was going well and I felt comfortable in my surroundings etc I think that I would be happier in general. but there’s just some ugliness associated with it, some terrible feelings now. I hate it. How can we move forward — scratch that. How can I move forward, knowing that at least one person that I work directly with despises me? I have to find a way to not care, to keep going, to just do my job and cut them out of it. And I do. Its just when B has been in A’s office for 45 minutes, talking in whispers, that I get really annoyed. Not just because they may be talking about me, though I have considered placing bugs to find out! Because they’re complaining, they’re whining, they’re certainly not working. I just am not sure yet if B is actually incompetent or if she’s purposely staying out of meeting that she should be at. A says all the time, be like me, play dumb. That is NOT my MO. that is not how I work. And a person who says that should not be in any kind of senior or supervisory position. A supervisor should be able to do everything I do but better. A supervisor should have done my job already and can offer advice, be impartial, see the big picture. She just finds ways to get out of work , to pass it off onto others, to discourage travel and events. Unless she’s decided its important. She is useless. And I am perfectly happy, actually, to pick up the slack, to do my job, to go on the events and trips, but she wants to discourage me somehow. I dont get it.

Help! Stay or go in the job? Ignore it and it will get better, is what my husband says. Let em hate, my numbers speak for themselves. There’s no other company that will allow me to do what I am doing now in Austin. The pay is good, the benefits are great. I am just going to keep on in my sunny way and ignore the haters and do good in the world. Recruit the best possible docs to my sites and do it with a smile. Work late, travel, network with out a complaint.


About julibear

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